The komplex plane

The publication system: a jaundiced view

Ian Stewart and John Jaworski

This is the paper that X wrote.

This is the editor, all distraught,
Who tore his hair at the horrible thought
Of printing the paper X wrote.

This is the friend whose help was sought,
By E, the editor, all distraught,
Who tore his hair and groaned at the thought
Of the horrible paper X wrote.

This is the proof, all shiny and new,
Of 2.1 and 2.2
Conceived by F, whose help was sought
By E, the editor, all distraught,
Who tore his hair and groaned at the thought
Of the odious paper X wrote.

This Covering Note pretends to be
Detached about the referee.
("He doesn't tell you how to fix
The proof of Theorem 2.6.")
It quotes the Referee's Report
Which says Such Things are Better Short
And gives the proof, all shiny and new,
Of 2.1 and 2.2
Proposed by F, whose help was sought
By E, the editor, all distraught,
Who tore his hair and groaned at the thought
Of the pitiful paper X wrote.

"But we are sure it can be mended;
If wholly changed it could be splendid."
Typing on a new machine,
F answers for his magazine. Signed E₁ = F₂ = X₃.