Math teacher evaluation form
In accordance with the new emphasis on accountability and the Standards of Learning (S.O.L.s), the following rating scale for Mathematics Professors at the University has been devised.
| Rating Scale | Far Exceeds Job Requirements | Exceeds Job Requirements | Meets Job Requirements | Needs Some Improvement | Does Not Meet Minimum Requirements |
| QUALITY | Leaps tall buildings with a single bound | Must take running start to leap over tall buildings | Can leap over short buildings only | Crashes into buildings when attempting to jump over them | Cannot recognize buildings at all |
| TIMELINESS | Is faster than a speeding bullet | Is as fast as a speeding bullet | Not quite as fast as a speeding bullet | Would you believe a slow bullet? | Wounds self with bullet when attempting to shoot |
| INITIATIVE | Is stronger than a locomotive | Is stronger than a bull elephant | Is stronger than a bull | Shoots the bull | Is full of bull |
| ADAPTABILITY | Walks on water | Treads water | Washes with water | Drinks water | Passes water in emergencies |
| COMMUNICATION | Talks with God | Talks with the angels | Talks to himself | Argues with himself | Loses arguments with himself |
| LOGIC | Understands Godel | Has read Godel | Can pronounce Godel | Wears a girdle | Can't recognize a girdle |
| ALGEBRA | Can prove Fermat's Last Theorem | Can develop the Quadratic Formula | Can use the Quadratic formula | Can spell the word Quadratic | Advocates being a radical |
| GEOMETRY | Creates consistent sets of axioms | Proves original theorems | Accepts axioms | Proves axioms | Disproves axioms |
| CALCULUS | Does elliptical integrals by inspection | Can prove the Fundamental Theorem | Has heard of the Fundamental Theorem | Advocates table of integration | Advocates busing for integration |