More bar jokes
A math object walks into a bar
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender approaches him and askes, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?" Descartes replies "I think not," and promptly vanishes.
Three mathematicians walk into a bar. You'd think the third one would have ducked.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. Before the next one can order, the bartender says, “You’re all assholes,” and pours two beers.[TE]
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. The barman looks at the three and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
A sphere walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve spheres here." The disgruntled sphere walks outside, but then gets an idea and performs Dahn surgery upon himself. He walks into the bar, and the bartender, who does not recognize him but thinks he looks familiar (or at least locally similar) and asks, "Aren't you that sphere that just came in here?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
A definite integral walks and orders 10 shots of whiskey. "You sure about that, buddy?" "Yeah, I know my limits." [CG]
A bar walks into a commutative algebraist.
sin(x) walks into a bar and asks for drink. The barman declines: "We don't cater for functions."
Two polynomials walk into a bar. The bartender, a derivative, asks them “Can I take you order?” The polynomials run out screaming “Help! The bartender threatened to kill me!”
A science object walks into a bar
Two atoms walk out of a bar. "Oh dear, I've left my electrons back in the bar." "Are you sure?" "I'm positive."
A neutron walks into a bar. "How much for a beer?" "For you? No charge."
Two alpha particles and a gamma ray walk into a bar... magnet.
Other bar jokes, not necessarily mathematical
Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Hey you, get outta here! We don't want your type in here."
A jumper-cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A baby seal walks into a club.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."